I'm going into "overtime" mode with my week 13 selections

By "overtime mode," I have been swamped at work, and I haven't had time to come up with anything extra, so it's on to the picks.  Last week I was 6-4 (thanks Stanford), with 34 points.  For the year, the total stands at 85-35, with 492 points, good for 96.9%.  So without further delay (because I'm doing this on my lunch hour), on to the selections.




Michigan State (10) @ Northwestern - If ever there was a category for hard luck story of the year award, Northwestern would win it hands down.  They started off 4-0, and have gone 0-6, since; losing a couple of heart breakers in a row.  As for Michigan State, they are on the opposite side of the tracks, which is why I'm putting them at the top for this week.  The Spartans should (and I emphasize the word should) take care of business and top the hapless wildcats, in their quest for the B1G championship.  Sparty over Northwestern, 33-19.




Wisconsin (9) @ Minnesota - I've heard that some of the noobs at ESPN like to put the Badgers on upset alert.  Look, Minnesota is a "feel' good story because of what their head coach has gone through with his health issues; nevertheless, "feel good" isn't going to equate to enough points to put any fear into the Badgers.  Look for the furry rodents from Madison to chase down and skin the Gophers from Minneyhaha, 31-17.




Washington @ Oregon State (8) - With the status of Washington's quarterback still undecided, I have decided to go with the Beavers, and here's why.  First, the Huskies haven't won a Pac-12 road contest, this season.  Second, Steve Sarkisian has been running his yapper about something he should have kept private; therefore, he has been reprimanded by the Pac-12 for making comments about the officials, public.  On the other hand, Oregon State has lost three in a row.  The bleeding will stop for one of these teams, so I'll take the home team here.  Beavers over the Huskies, 35-31.



  
Vanderbilt (7) @ Tennessee - Vandy hasn't won back to back games against Tennessee since before the Great Depression.  Tennessee hasn't won a game since they upset South Carolina.  Plus, I don't know if the Vols first string quarterback is healthy; and I really don't care; and, I don't have the time to look it up.  So, I'll take the Commodores to screw up Tennessee's season, 27-24.




Arizona State @ UCLA (6) - In his two seasons with UCLA, Jim Mora Jr., hasn't lost to a Pac-12, South Division team.  I know that Arizona State is on a roll; however, as we all know, all good things  must come to an end.  For the Sun Devils, the end will occur in Pasadena, if UCLA's quarterback doesn't try to force passes into double coverage.  That's the only thing that I fear with Brett Hundley; he tries to force the issue when he should just take the damn sack and move on.  Hopefully, Mora Jr., has pounded that train of thought into Hundley's mind.  Regardless, give me the Bruins for a six pack over the Sun Devils, 34-28.




Baylor @ Oklahoma State (5) - The last time that Baylor won in Stillwater, Papa was a Rolling Stone.  That's right, my papa was rolling around, stumbling around, and whatever else a two year old gets into.  The year was 1939.  Heck, my mother wasn't even born yet.  She arrived on the scene in 1940.  So why am I taking a stroll back in time?  I feel like history has an affect on certain situations; like Baylor winning in Stillwater.  Plus, the spotlight is turned up to super bright, for this contest; and I feel like that Baylor will show what I have believed to be true all season, they haven't played a significant opponent, yet.  And no, I do not count Oklahoma as a significant opponent.  Stoops took a dump with his play calling, in that game.  Look for the Pokes to put the Bears into early hibernation, 45-41.




Missouri @ Ole Miss (4) - The Rebels have lost three games this season to the top three in the SEC West; Alabama, Auburn, and Texas A&M.  The only game that they were not in was against Alabama.  As a bonus, the Rebels are pretty much healthy, team wise.  I realize that Missouri has had a great season; but, that loss against South Carolina is still fresh in my mind, as well as the mind of the Tigers.  Should be a great game, and the Grove will be one huge party after Rebel Yell takes down the cats, 30-27.




Texas A&M @ LSU (3) - Under Kevin Sumlin, the Aggies have not lost a road game; but, that's about to change.  They haven't played in the Rouge; but, come Saturday, that will change.  Okay, neither team can stop a cold; however, LSU might have a small edge when it comes to ball control and special teams; therefore, I'll take the Tigers to right the ship over the Aggies, 35-28.




Oklahoma @ Kansas State (2) - I'm taking the home team here because the weather is going to be horrible, in Manhattan on Saturday.  It's supposed to be windy and down right cold, which doesn't bode well for the pass happy Sooners.  The teacher (Bill Snyder) wins a close one over the student (Bob Stoops).  The Wildcats in an upset over Oklahoma, 28-24.




Duke (1) @ Wake Forest - And now, for the "Who Cares" game of the week, welcome to Duke/Wake Forest.  My other two games that I considered for this spot were Vandy/Tennessee and, Michigan State/Northwestern; however, I needed the points, especially in that Michigan State/Northwestern match up.  So, I'll take the Blue Devils for one point; but, to win by more than one point, 37-24.




This slate of games was pretty crappy, even by ESPN standards.  The one week I was looking forward to picking the Mormons over the Catholics (or the Morons over the Convicts, whatever floats your boat), ESPN doesn't put it on the sheet.  Go figure.  As usual, I'm hovering just above the 70% line, which means I have at least three losers that I have picked; maybe more, so tread at your own risk.  Once again, I'm sorry that I didn't have the time to add anything extra to the beginning of this diatribe.  I'll try to do better next week.  Meanwhile, everyone have a great and safe weekend and, enjoy the games.  Roll Tide.

Jljmbaker

I'm doubling down on my week 12 selections

More on the "double down" later.  First of all, here's a little bit in the week that went by.  In last week's post, I was praising Gus Malzhan for the great job that he is doing at Auburn.  Usually, when I praise someone's good fortune, they turn around and make a fool out of my thoughts.  Not Gus.  His team went into Knoxville and threw just nine passes, with half of them coming in the first drive.  Who needs a passing attack when your team just had 444 yards on 53 carries.  It seemed like every time that the Vols would get close to Auburn, the Tigers would answer twice.  In addition to those rushing yards, Auburn returned a kickoff and a punt for a touchdown.  Also in the SEC, how about Vanderbilt's stomp down at the Swamp, over Florida, 34-17.  Honk if you saw that one coming.  This marks the first time in the history of Vanderbilt football that they have beaten both Florida, and Georgia, in the same season.




Now, let us take a look at teams that have taken a dump and are starting to stink up the joint.  First off, Michigan.  The Wolverines offense looked offensive against Nebraska.  They have no rushing attack against average to good teams, especially these last two games.  The "U" (Miami) looked more like the Pee "U" with that lackluster performance against Virginia Tech (I still wouldn't take Tech over a hot dog vendor as long as Logan Thomas is at the controls).  Poor Florida; the Gators are looking at a losing season for the first time since the 1979 season.  A loss at South Carolina this Saturday, will probably seal the deal for Florida, since I give them a less than zero percent chance against Florida State.  Then, there is Texas Tech, a team that is three weeks removed from the top 10, which has managed to lose three straight games.  That's what happens when your games move from the cupcake category to the pound cake category; you start separating the pretenders form the contenders.  I can't move on without saying something about D. Thomas running his mouth saying that Oregon would hang 40 points on Stanford.  He must have been talking about three games worth to equal 40 points against the Cardinal, because in the last two games, the Ducks have scored just 34 points combined against Stanford.  Ouch!!




Now, for the surprise teams for the season.  In no particular order, okay.  First one that comes to my mind is Duke.  The Blue Devils were trailing NC State, 20-17, with less than four minutes to go in the fourth quarter; and, in a span of 27 seconds, Duke turned a close game into a blow out, 38-21.  After a five yard TD run, the Blue Devils had two straight interceptions for touchdowns.  The win was Duke's fifth in a row.  Then there is Minnesota.  With their win over Penn State, the Gophers are at 8-2, with an outside shot at winning the Legends division of the B1G.  Other teams of note include, Missouri, Auburn (see above), Baylor, and Central Florida.  Those last two (Baylor/UCF) were expected to be better; nevertheless, I think that they have exceeded most everyone's expectations, especially mine.




I can't fly the coop without saying something about the Jameis Winston story that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.  Considering the nature of the charge (sexual assault), why are we just now hearing about this situation after it occurred nearly a year ago?  Now, in no way am I going to judge Jameis Winston; my beef is in the handling of this case by the Tallahassee Police Department.  Why are they just now handing this case off to the state prosecutor's office.  In my opinion, something smells a little ripe with this situation; or, as a friend of mine used to say:  "Something's rotten in Denmark."  Stay tuned, I'm sure that there is more to come with this case in the very near future.




Moving on.  Now to the comedy section of this report, my selections.  Last week, I tried a different technique; picking the slate like it was laid out, as far as confidence points were concerned.  This week I'm "doubling down," and going the same way, again.  Top to bottom, the way ESPN sent it to me.  BTW-The new technique didn't help or hurt, so why not try it again.  Last week, I was 7-3, with 41 tootsie rolls.  For the year, the record stands at 79-31, with 458 points, good for 97.6%.  You know the order of the points; all you need now is the check list of the teams that I'm going with.  The wait is over because your chariot has arrived.




Stanford (10) @ USC - Since Mr. Ed (not the horse) took over the program after Kiffen's firing, the men of Troy are 4-1.  Well zippity doo dah; they haven't played anybody during that stretch of games.  That will change come Saturday night.  Look for USC to keep it close until midway through the third quarter.  That's when the constant pounding of the football from Stanford's running game will be too much for the Trojans to overcome.  The Tree (Cardinal) comes crashing down on the White Horse, 31-17.




Alabama (9) @ Mississippi State - I might be a little worried about this game; but, all Saban has to do is put in the 2007 video tape from his first season's game against the Bulldogs, and that should be enough to keep the Tide rolling.  In that game in 2007, John Parker Wilson threw a pick six with less than a minute to go before the half, that went for 100 yards.  Alabama never recovered from that situation, and eventually lost the game 19-12.  Hopefully by halftime, those cow bells will turn into cow patties.  The Tide continues its march towards Atlanta, with a win over State, 41-13.




Florida @ South Carolina (8) - Well, Will Muschamp can start looking for a new gig.  The AD, Jeremy Foley, came out two days ago and said he was 1000% (That's right, he said one thousand) sure that Muschamp was the right coach to get the Gators back on track.  His statement is the sure kiss of death.  Don't look for Spurrier to show any compassion for his old team, either.  Look for the roosters to skin the Gators and put one more nail in Muschamp's coffin, 33-10.




Georgia (7) @ Auburn - Welcome to the Deep South's oldest rivalry.  These two teams have met on the gridiron 116 times, and the series is a dead heat at 54-54-8.  However, recently Georgia has had Auburn's number, winning six out of the last seven.  Plus, Aaron Murray is 2-0 against the Tigers.  Auburn has had a great year; but, this is where the Tigers will run into trouble.  With no scent of a passing game, and the fact that Georgia is pretty good at stopping the run, the Dawgs will have enough to win out at Auburn, 35-24.




Oklahoma State (6) @ Texas - In this series, the visitor has won the past four games.  I like that stat.  I also like that the Pokes are hitting their stride, winning the last five games that they have played.  Meanwhile, Texas will start seeing the effects of the injury bug, come Saturday.  The winner of this game is still in the hunt for the Big-12 Championship, and virtually controls its own destiny, because both of them still have Baylor on the schedule.  Look for the Stillwater crew to go 4-0 in the state of Texas, for this season, 39-31.




Michigan State (5) @ Nebraska - Who knew that the Cornhuskers could pull off another Hail-Mary, for the second week in a row.  Don't think that they will find another one against Sparty.  I realize that the Spartans have NEVER beaten Nebraska; however, all good things must come to an end; and after Saturday, Michigan State will finally have that monkey off of their backside.  Spartans over Big Red, 24-13.




Miami @ Duke (4) -  Now, that just doesn't look right, Duke over Miami.  Maybe in basketball; but football, you gotta be kidding me, right?  Duke has managed to win five in a row, and Miami has lost two in a row; and, the Hurricanes looked down right crappy against a team which Duke beat, Virginia Tech.  A win over the Canes would put the Blue Devils in the driver seat for the ACC Coastal Division championship (that just doesn't sound right).  The Tropical depression continues for Miami, with Duke winning a close one, 34-31.




Michigan @ Northwestern (3) - Northwestern has had two weeks to get over that heart breaking loss at Nebraska.  On the other hand, Michigan has looked down right pathetic, in the last two weeks.  The slide has to stop at some point for the Wildcats; it might as well be this week.  Northwestern over the Wolverines, 28-24.




North Carolina (2) @ Pittsburgh - I think that Larry Fedora's team is coming together on both sides of the ball.  Yes, I know that Pittsburgh beat Notre Dame, last week.  Well, kiss my grits and name a mud puddle after me.  Considering how great a team that Notre Dump is this season, that's no big deal.  Heels over the Panthers, 30-21.




Cincinnati @ Rutgers (1) - Two weeks in a row.  Got to hand it to ESPN, for they have managed to put the "Who Cares" game of the week at the bottom of the list, again.  Now that's what I call consistency.  By now, you know the drill for this spot.  Taking Rutgers over Cincinnati, for one point, and by one point, 31-30.




Okay, that does it for me.  May all of your picks be winners.  Just remember to tread at your own risk when you are looking at mine.  Before I go, I see where Winston's lawyer has come out and stated that he has two witnesses to back up Jameis' story about what did, or did not happen, eleven months ago.  Remember the song from the 70's from the Sanford Townsend Band, Smoke From a Distant Fire; I think that scenario applies to this situation.  I just hope that Jameis Winston didn't start the fire.  Any who, have a great and safe weekend.  Roll Tide.

Jljmbaker

I'm playing the hand I'm dealt with in this week 11 selections

By playing the hand the way it was dealt, I'm talking picking winners and to heck with these silly confidence points.  More on that later.  Right now, I see where Carl Pelini is trying to pull a Bill Clinton on us, telling everyone that not only did he not inhale, he didn't use any illegal drugs, as well.  Here's the funny part; on one side of the street, you have Carl Pelini spewing that he would take a drug test to prove his innocence; yet when the AD told Carl that the test would occur right at that moment, Pelini refused.  Any wonder as to why.  Pelini's excuse was that he wanted to retain legal counsel before proceeding; to which I'm calling hog wash.  I'm thinking that Pelini thought that he could hold off his firing by stating that he would take a drug test, figuring that the test would occur in a couple of days and ole Carl would take some sort of crap to flush out his system, on the hopes that the illegal stuff would up and vanish like a fart in the wind.  Again, nice try Carl; nevertheless, I'm not buying it, especially when there are two people who signed documents stating that you did.  Anyway, Carl has officially rescinded his resignation, and wants his job back.  Good luck with that situation, Mr. Pelini.

 

Speaking of Florida Atlantic, I see where it hit the news that Luke Fickell (DC for Ohio State) was interviewed for their job opening.  When some reporter asked Urban Meyer about that situation, his response was as follows:  “He did not interview,” Meyer said after practice Wednesday evening, "he better not have."  Meyer said he had not been contacted by Florida Atlantic about interviewing any of his assistants and says there is no interviewing for assistants during the regular season.  Now, I ask this question:  Who in the hell does Urban Meyer think that he is?  Who died and left him the king of the castle?  It's okay if Urban interviews for another job during the regular season (While at Utah, interviewing for the Florida job); however, God forbid that one of his assistants looks for another job while the regular season plays out.  Just one more reason you can add to the hate list of Urban Meyer. 

 

Marching on.  I see where Mr. Ed (not the horse), the current coach at USC wants to become the permanent coach.  Good luck with that, Mr. Ed.  I think that Pat Hayden has someone else in mind, and not you.  Word has it that Kevin Sumlin might be pretty high on Hayden's list.  Now, I'll be the first to admit that I thought that A&M had lost their mind when they hired Sumlin away from Houston.  Boy, was I wrong.  He has proven that he can run with the big boys, and out run most of them.  I think that it would be a pretty good hire for the Trojans.  We shall see.

 

Speaking of coaches, how about the job that Gus Malzhan is doing at Auburn.  I think that he is a lock for coach of the year.  Now that I have praised him, watch him lose to Tennessee, this weekend.  While we are on the subject of awards, you can go ahead and hand the Heisman trophy to Jameis Winston after that show (or the lack there of) that Marcus Mariota put on display against Stanford, last night.  Maybe there is a little truth to the old saying that the third time is the charm.  Right now, that's all that the Duck fans have going for them, now that Stanford has ruined their season for the second straight year.  Just further proves that DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS.  On the other hand, I'm still having a hard time figuring out how Stanford managed to lose to Utah.  Oh well.

 

Last week, I managed to some how go 9-1, with 53 Lincolns.  That brings the season total to 72-28, with 417 points, good for 96.8%.  As for this week, I'm picking them like ESPN dealt them to me.  Going straight down the list from top to bottom and to heck with the confidence points.  Hope it works.

 

Fresno State (10) @ Wyoming - The only thing that can slow down the Bull dogs might be the altitude.  I think that it is around 7000 feet above sea level in Laramie.  I didn't look at the weather report, so I don't know if that might be a factor, as well.  As far as the rest of the jumble, I've seen maybe five minutes of Fresno State in action, and none of Wyoming.  Makes perfect sense to place 10 points of something I have no clue about; Dogs over the Cowboys, 41-24.

 

UCLA (9) @ Arizona - The winner of this match up is still in the picture for the Pac-12 South division, along with Arizona State.  UCLA managed to get back on the winning side of the equation after dropping two in a row.  Playing a low-life like Colorado, will usually yield a win, or at least it better.  As for Arizona, I'm not sold on Rich Rod, or his team; at least not this week.  Look for the Bruins to slam the Wildcats, 38-28.

 

LSU @ Alabama (8) - Go ahead and label me as a homer, because I am.  I see where Les Miles has had another freshman DB arrested for simple battery.  That makes two in two weeks, for the same offense.  Third time is the charm, Les.  Around the Capstone, life has been entertaining, as well.  Rumors are abundant with Saint Nick leaving for Texas.  You and I know Nick's track record when it comes to telling the truth; just ask any Miami Dolphin fan.  So when I hear him say that he isn't going anywhere, anytime soon; I'm taking it with a grain of salt.  Plus, he has already exceeded my expectations; he's been here for seven years at Alabama.  That's two more years than he has stayed anywhere else.  As for the game, if the Tide shows up on defense, it will be a long night for the Tigers.  I'm betting that it will, Alabama over LSU, 27-16.

 

Notre Dame (7) @ Pittsburgh - Ouch.  Right about now, I'm not too warm to this playing it like it is dealt situation, considering my love (cough, cough) for the Irish.  Plus, the Irish had to hang on for dear life against Navy, last week.  Let's face it, Notre Dame is looking more like Notre Dump, this season.  I'm just hoping that they lose at least one more time, this season, because they damn sure don't deserve to be in any BCS bowl.  I just don't think Pittsburgh is the answer to my prayer for the Irish to lose.  Notre Shame over the Panthers, 31-24.

 

Virginia Tech @ Miami (6) - If Logan Thomas is still the quarterback for Virginia Tech, there is no way in hell that I will pick the Gobblers, against anybody.  What a joke of a QB.  I believe he was responsible for four turnovers (including the fumble on the final drive) against Boston College, last week.  He would have a better shot at playing dead, than being an actual player.  As for Miami, this would be the perfect spot to go against them after that beat down at the hands of FSU and the loss of their running back; however, I can rest easy just knowing that Logan Thomas will manage to gift wrap the game and hand deliver the win to the Hurricanes.  Miami over Tech, 27-20.

 

Texas (5) @ West Virginia - Wonder what Mack Brown is thinking about?  With all of the garbage that came out of Austin, this week, I bet the game against WVU is right on par with Mack hanging around, after the season is over; at least in Mack's mind of thoughts.  Texas is still at the top of the conference with Baylor, so the horns can't afford a loss to the mountain men.  On the other hand, Texas has been on the Pick'em slate four times, and guess what; I'm 0-4 whether I pick them, or against them.  I'm hoping that the fifth time will be the charm, otherwise, I will probably be drinking a fifth of something.  Texas over West Virginia, 37-31.

 

Arizona State (4) @ Utah - For the moment, the Sun Devils are leading the Pac-12 South Division.  Clearly, they are the better team in this match up.  Like Fresno State, the only issue I have here with Arizona Sate is the altitude.  It's not as high as Wyoming's; nevertheless, 4300 feet does make a difference, especially when your team thrives close to sea level.  What the heck, Sun Devils fork the Utes, 38-27.

 

Nebraska (3) @ Michigan - Bo Diddly brings his Husker wagon to Ann Arbor.  I wonder if the Big House will be a packed house.  Probably not; because wolverine fan43 has jumped off the ship; and some of his other brethren have, as well.  Let's face it, when your team has last second wins over the likes of Akron and UConn, your confidence level could be at an all time low.  To hear some of these Wolverine fans, you would think that Rich Rod is still running the show.  Meanwhile, Nebraska doesn't have the fear factor that it possessed in the 90's.  So why am I on Nebraska?  I have no answer; but Nebraska does have one "Hail Mary" to their credit.  They might just find another.  Cornhuskers over Michigan, 28-24.

 

BYU @ Wisconsin (2) - Both teams are 6-2; however, they are not mirror images of each other.  Wisconsin has played a tougher schedule, and right now, the Badgers are hitting their stride.  Plus, the game is in Madison, a tough place to win a game if you are the visitor.  Look for BYU to make it interesting, until the fourth quarter; that's when Bucky the Badger will take a chomp out of the Cougars back side, 27-21.

 

Kansas State @ Texas Tech (1) - I have to give ESPN credit, this game belongs at the bottom of the list, making it eligible for my "Who Cares" game of the week.  By now, you know the drill.  I'm taking Tech for one point and by one point, 35-34.

 

Well, time to stick a fork in this mess and call it a day.  With my new approach, you better tread at your own risk.  On the other hand, if you are on the winning side, it doesn't matter what point you put on them.  But, as history has a way of reminding me, I have at least three losers on that list of games, so be careful.  Until next week, have a great and safe weekend.  Enjoy the games and Roll Tide.

 

Jljmbaker

 

I'm smokin more and getting high less with my week 10 selections

And, by "Smokin", I'm talking Carl Pelini style; give me another hit off of that bong, Carl.  Of all the stupid things that college football coaches have done this season, Carl Pelini just raised the bar of stupidity beyond the Earth's atmosphere.  How in the world do you manage to get caught blowing weed?  Answer, just go to a party and take a hit off of the joint that's being passed around.  Never mind that 80% of the crowd has a camera phone just waiting to post your picture on any social media network.  I don't care if he took one toke or twenty; he took "one toke over the line" too many. 

 

Moving on.  Next on the menu is the lying athletic department of the University of Miami.  And by lying, I'm talking about the bogus attendance that was listed for the Wake Forest game.  The announced crowd was just north of 66,000; however, from the looks of the ACTUAL PEOPLE in the stands, the attendance was more like 25,000.  The other 40,000 must have showed up wearing invisible ghost costumes, or something to that effect.  Hell, I thought Alabama Birmingham had moved their home games to South Beach, with the looks of that crowd.  Who am I kidding, UAB hasn't drawn 25,000 fans for ALL of their home games combined, this season.  Last night's NFL match up between Cincinnati and Miami, drew a crowd of 52,000 people; and, by looking at the crowd, the stadium appeared to be at three-fourth's capacity.  Kudos to the NFL for being able to count correctly, as opposed to the University of Miami, who counts people like Nevin Shapiro counts his money.  By the way, Miami has only had ONE sell-out all season; the Florida game; and, thanks to the Gator fans for that situation because 30,000 of them showed up to assist Miami in filling up Sun-Life stadium, or whatever it's called. 

 

I realize that I'm giving Miami fans a hard time; but they deserve it.  The team is 7-0, and nobody is showing up for the games.  Why?  Maybe because the last two games, Miami has struggled to beat the likes of Wake Forest and North Carolina.  I'll guarantee you this fact; come Saturday in Tallahassee, the Canes will see a sell-out; and probably witness a beat down, as well.  Be still my heart, I just love it every time that Miami lays an egg.  Heck, I even popped in the 1992 Sugar Bowl game, a couple of days ago; you know the game I'm talking about; the one where Alabama clown-stomped Miami, 34-13.  One of the greatest plays of college football occurred in that game.  The play where George Teague came from 15 yards behind Lamar Thomas, and chased him down and took the ball away from him before Thomas could reach the end zone.  If you ever get to see that play again, take a look at the Miami players and coaches as Thomas is streaking towards the end zone.  They go from jumping and celebrating to the agony of, oh no, not again.  Now, before Mobilecane22 comes riding in on his high-horse and flapping his yapper in defense of Miami, and accuses me of being a hater, I'll save you and him the suspense:  You are damn right that I'm a bona fide Miami hater.  I laugh my butt off, every time that they lose.

 

Next up, let's add a couple of coaches to the proverbial hot seat, shall we.  Congratulations to Bo Diddly Pelini and Will Muschamp.  Of the two, Muschamp has the best shot at saving his job for one more year.  Pelini is gone.  I base that on three things.  First, he manages to lose four games every year; and that number has the potential to be higher for this season.  Second, his cussing tirade from two years ago that managed to surface following the UCLA loss, this season.  And finally, third, that modern art masterpiece that he coached at Minnesota, last week.  Both Picasso and Rembrandt would have been proud of that signature painting that Pelini delivered. 

 

Now, it's time for the entertainment weekly report, or the comedy relief section of this diatribe; my attempt to pick the games correctly (chuckle, chuckle).  I have to laugh to keep from crying because I'm doing so great (cough, cough).  Last week, I was 6-4, with 37 corn flakes.  Not too good.  For those that are keeping count (and I don't know why that you would), I'm at 364 points and 94.0%, for the season.  The won/loss record now stands at 63-27, which is exactly 70%.  Oh well, let's see what I can screw up with this fantastic (NOT) slate of games that ESPN has thrown at us, for this week.

 

Miami @ FSU (10) - I think that you already know which way I'm leaning concerning this contest.  No need to explain any further.  Does Miami have a chance.  Yes, they have a 50/50 shot at winning the coin toss, and that's all folks.  Canes go down in flames, 48-17.

 

Auburn (9) @ Arkansas - I was going to mention something about Bret Bielema above; nevertheless, I ran out of time and space.  Just put him in the Bob Stoops/Steve Spurrier category of running his yapper, when he shouldn't.  For those that don't know, ole Bret has been complaining that Auburn altered the game film that the Tigers sent for his Hogettes to view.  Uh Bret, if you don't like what Auburn sent you, just ask ESPN to forward you a copy; or better yet, just DVR the damn game yourself.  What a complete idiot.  Take the Tigers to score a few extra "butts" here, 37-17.

 

Wisconsin (8) @ Iowa - Oh boy, my favorite team is once again on the pick'em sheet, Iowa.  Why in the world does ESPN throw us in the corn field every week.  I'm sick of this nonsense.  Iowa is becoming my Notre Dame West.  Iowa can't manage to win two B1G games in a row.  At least I'm banking that Benny and The Jets; excuse me, Bucky and The Badgers will throw the children of the corn, into a toxic waste dump.  Taking the Badgers to eat a lot of ears of corn, over the Hawkeyes, 31-17.

 

Boise State (7) @ Colorado State - Tough to draw any advantage on this game.  Going on name alone, here; which is probably a bad idea; however, I can't move any other game to this position.  Plus, the number "seven" hole has been very unkind to me, this season.  Just chalk it up to another FINE selection by the Einsteins at ESPN.  I will not be surprised if Colorado State wins this game, so I'm doing all of you a favor by picking the Broncos over the Sheep, 34-31.

 

Oklahoma State (6) @ Texas Tech - The loser of this game is out of the picture in regards for the Big-12 championship race.  Gundy seems to have Tech's number because his Pokes have won the last four in this series.  Add that to the fact that Tech is coming off its first loss to the other team that is from the Sooner state; and, you might see why I think the Red Raiders will lose both ends of the Oklahoma Daily Double.  Taking the Cowboys over Texas Tech, in a close one, 31-28.

 

Georgia (5) vs Florida @ Jacksonville - Finally, the stadium that the Jaguars call home will actually see a full house, for the first time this season.  What is usually known as the world's largest outdoor cocktail party, has lost a little of its luster, for this year's edition.  The only reason to give the Dog pound the nod over the Gators here; Georgia is not as beat up as bad as Florida, in regards to injuries.  Plus, Gurley is back for Georgia, so give me the Dogs to eat some lizard tails, 24-19.

 

Michigan @ Michigan State (4) - I'll bet that Bo Schembechler turned over a few times in his grave with that porous defense that Brady Hoke's bunch had on display against Indy-freaking-anna.  Forty seven points, are you kidding me.  The next time I want to see a 63-47 game, I'll tune in to watch Michigan and Indiana play basketball.  As for the the Spartans, they actually had a little offense last week, to go along with that stingy defense; and, we all know that DEFENSE wins championships.  So give me Sparty to spank the Wolverpuppies, 24-20.

 

Northwestern @ Nebraska (3) - Well zippity freaking doo dah, another useless game.  Strictly taking Nebraska because they are at home, and nothing else.  Would it surprise me if Northwestern wins; nope.  The Wildcats went "oh fer" in the month of October.  Could a new month make any difference; perhaps.  Either way, I don't care.  The Cornhuskers over Northwestern, 30-28.

 

Virginia Tech (2) @ Boston College - What is ESPN trying to do to us; bore us to tears with another stellar match up?  Heck, I've never seen so many meaningless games in one week.  Have any of you actually seen Boston College play this season.  They are about as Vanilla as a team can be; and, Virginia Tech is not much better.  However, Tech might have enough in the tank after being gassed by DUKE, last week.  Look for the Gobblers to fly a little higher than the Eagles, 20-17.

 

North Carolina (1) @ North Carolina State - Now, to the "Who Cares" game of the week, make that the YEAR.  I have one question for the nerds at ESPN, why does this modern art masterpiece have any business being on the pick'em slate?  Just when I think the noobs at ESPN have reached a new low, they prove that they can go lower; right to the center of the Earth's core with this fine selection.  I'll take Carolina for one point, and by one point, 28-27.

 

Man, this week was taxing because of these FINE selections that Big Brother sent us.  I'm down right exhausted.  If ever there was a week where you needed to "tread at your own risk," this is the one, so be careful.  Until we meet again, everyone have a great and safe weekend.  Enjoy the games; well, the meaningful ones.  Roll Tide.

 

Jljmbake

I hope to avoid being as "cold as ice" with my week 9 selections

And, by "cold as ice," I'm talking Antarctica cold.  What happened to global warming?  Has anybody seen Al Gore?  You know the Al Gore I'm talking about; the Al Gore who likes to take credit for being the founder of the Internet, along with his theory on global warming.  According to my pick'em record from last week's game, I haven't received the memo form ole Albert, concerning global warming.  More on that later.

 

 

 

A quick review on the week that was.  First, how about Steve Spurrier and that fine piece of coaching near the end of the Tennessee game.  He coached himself into a defeat by calling not one; but, two timeouts, trying to catch the Vols off guard, while he contemplated going for it on fourth down with three yards to go.  Note to Stevie Wonder Spurrier:  You might call time out once; but, to do it twice, and then not go for it in the end, was strictly asinine.  And, how about a shout out to those Vols for coming back the way that they did.  That was one heck of a catch to put them in scoring range.

 

 

 

 

While we are on the SEC, that was one strange situation that took place last Saturday, with Florida, South Carolina, Georgia, LSU, and Texas A&M, all losing while being prohibited favorites.  Did the Hale-Bopp comet make a pass by the Earth, last weekend?  Had to be, how else can you explain all of the nonsense that occurred in college football, last weekend.

 

 

 

 

Forward, march.  Now, it's time for the "idiot of the week award," or, as I like to call it, the moon pie of the week from the past seven days.  And the winner is:  Danny Kanell of ESPN.  This cat takes being a lunatic to a level that is higher than Mount Everest.  Mr. Einstein Danny Kanell stated that his BCS rankings were Oregon first, Florida State second, and Alabama third.  When pressed about his Alabama ranking, he stated that the ONLY reason that the Tide was first overall was because of their recent history, and that they hadn't played anybody of merit, this season.  Uh, Danny; by my count, that's two reasons; and as far as not playing anybody this season, Virginia Tech hasn't lost a game since they played Alabama.  Alabama shut out Ole Miss which beat LSU.  Alabama proved that they can score when they need to by out lasting Texas A&M, 49-42 (a game which was billed as the game of the year).  Alabama hasn't given up a touchdown at Bryant Denny Stadium, this season.  Danny Kanell is further proof that anybody can score a job at ESPN, right along with Lou Holtz and Desmond Howard.  Put them three Einsteins together and what do you have?  That's right, The Three Stooges are back in business, just different names.

 

 

 

 

Now, back to my issue of being "cold as ice."  Last week I was a stellar (cough, cough) 5-5, with 25 pieces of bacon.  By the looks of all of the scores in our pick'em group, I wasn't the only one that was caught in that blizzard of cold, from last week.  For the year, I'm 57-23 (that equates to just a little bit better than seven out of every ten picks as winners), with 327 total points, good for 96.4%.  Let's see if I can stoke the fire and crank up the heat on these selections for this week's slate of games.

 

 

 

 

Penn State @ Ohio State (10) - Since I have lost my last two "10" point selections in a row, I can just feel some of you putting the Nittany Lions as your "one" point to beat the Buckeyes.  It could happen; but, just remember this; the last time that Penn State played on the road, they were taking to the wood shed by Indiana.  That's all the proof that I need.  Hand me some Buckeyes to clown stomp Penn State, 38-20.

 

 

 

 

UCLA @ Oregon (9) - UCLA is on the road again, going a little further north than last week.  Now they travel to Eugene to take on some ticked off Ducks.  In case some of you have been in a drunken stuper for more than a week, Florida State jumped Oregon in the BCS (more like BS) standings.  That doesn't bode well for Jim Mora and his Bruins.  Put me on the Quack Wagon.  I like the Ducks to fly away from UCLA, 48-23.

 

 

 

 

Clemson (8) @ Maryland - Clemson's coach, Dabo Sweeny said that his team didn't give their best effort in that beat down by Florida State.  To him I say:  No crap (I would like to use another four letter word), Sherlock.  The only thing that Clemson did last week was pull a Clemson.  They do this at least once, or twice a season.  Look for the Tigers to be a little more motivated this week, say 38-17, over the Turtles, and those butt ugly uniforms that they wear.

 

 

 

 

Nebraska (7) @ Minnesota - Look, Nebraska is the better team here.  The Cornhuskers should steam roll the Gophers, according to stats.  Ah, but the game isn't played on paper.  Nevertheless, Nebraska can not afford to lose a game like this.  If that happens, Bo Pelini will need to have Two Men and a Truck on standby.  Look for Nebraska to out last Minneyhaha, 37-24.

 

 

 

 

South Carolina @ Missouri (6) - This is one of two games that the peckerheads at ESPN have on upset alert, as well as one local writer for the Birmingham News, Charles Hollis; who can't pick his nose.  So give me a heavy dose of Tiger stew; or, rather Chicken Soup For The Soul.  Taking Mizzu over the Yardbirds, 31-23.

 

 

 

 

Michigan State (5) @ Illinois - Between these two teams, I've probably watched both of them for a combined five minutes, this season.  Going on stats only for this pick.  Look for Sparty to capture a few Indians, 28-17.

 

 

 

 

Texas (4) @ TCU - I bet Gary Patterson is longing for the good old days when his Horned Frogs were the front runners of the Mountain West Conference.  TCU is becoming an after thought as far as the Big 12 minus 2, is concerned.  Meanwhile, Mack Brown has Texas at the top of the Big 12 standings; if anybody can believe that situation.  Plus, as an added bonus, Texas has had a week off to prepare for this contest.  The Longhorns win the Dallas Metro Area daily double, by defeating the toad frogs, 27-23.

 

 

 

 

Texas Tech (3) @ Oklahoma - Stoops may burn me, AGAIN; however, it will not be as bad as that train wreck that occurred two weeks ago in Dallas.  This time I'm picking against him.  By the way, Stooper Duck hasn't been flapping those gums of his since that beat down from two weeks ago.  Losing a game like that tends to leave one speechless.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think that Texas Tech is the real deal; I just like them a little bit more than I like Bobby's Boomer Sooners.  Red Raiders over Oklahoma, 28-24.

 

 

 

 

Stanford @ Oregon State (2) - Okay, I'm drinking the kool-aid here; and, I tossed in a little extra Jack Daniel's, just to get the taste right.  I can't come up with another excuse as to why I'm on the Beaver Express, for this contest.  Let's face it, Stanford is the better team, right?  I can't say yes to any degree of certainty; so I'll take Oregon State over the Cardinal, 31-27.

 

 

 

 

Northwestern @ Iowa (1) - And now, to the "Who Cares" game of the week.  Since Game Day came to the shores of Lake Michigan, Northwestern has gone 0-3.  The Wildcats ship has managed to sink faster than the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.  On the other hand, Iowa has at least won a B1G conference game, which is ONE more than Northwestern has to its credit.  Hawkeyes over Northwestern for one point; and, by one point, 24-23.

 

 

 

 

Hopefully, that puts the wraps on a successful pick'em weekend.  Probably not, so you better tread at your own risk.  I'm just hoping to turn my ship in the opposite direction from these past two weeks.  If not, I'll be the one going down, right alongside with the Edmund Fitzgerald.  Until we meet again, everyone have a great and safe weekend.  Enjoy the games and Roll Tide.

 

Jljmbaker