And, by "cold as ice," I'm talking Antarctica cold. What happened to global warming? Has anybody seen Al Gore? You know the Al Gore I'm talking about; the Al Gore who likes to take credit for being the founder of the Internet, along with his theory on global warming. According to my pick'em record from last week's game, I haven't received the memo form ole Albert, concerning global warming. More on that later.
A quick review on the week that was. First, how about Steve Spurrier and that fine piece of coaching near the end of the Tennessee game. He coached himself into a defeat by calling not one; but, two timeouts, trying to catch the Vols off guard, while he contemplated going for it on fourth down with three yards to go. Note to Stevie Wonder Spurrier: You might call time out once; but, to do it twice, and then not go for it in the end, was strictly asinine. And, how about a shout out to those Vols for coming back the way that they did. That was one heck of a catch to put them in scoring range.
While we are on the SEC, that was one strange situation that took place last Saturday, with Florida, South Carolina, Georgia, LSU, and Texas A&M, all losing while being prohibited favorites. Did the Hale-Bopp comet make a pass by the Earth, last weekend? Had to be, how else can you explain all of the nonsense that occurred in college football, last weekend.
Forward, march. Now, it's time for the "idiot of the week award," or, as I like to call it, the moon pie of the week from the past seven days. And the winner is: Danny Kanell of ESPN. This cat takes being a lunatic to a level that is higher than Mount Everest. Mr. Einstein Danny Kanell stated that his BCS rankings were Oregon first, Florida State second, and Alabama third. When pressed about his Alabama ranking, he stated that the ONLY reason that the Tide was first overall was because of their recent history, and that they hadn't played anybody of merit, this season. Uh, Danny; by my count, that's two reasons; and as far as not playing anybody this season, Virginia Tech hasn't lost a game since they played Alabama. Alabama shut out Ole Miss which beat LSU. Alabama proved that they can score when they need to by out lasting Texas A&M, 49-42 (a game which was billed as the game of the year). Alabama hasn't given up a touchdown at Bryant Denny Stadium, this season. Danny Kanell is further proof that anybody can score a job at ESPN, right along with Lou Holtz and Desmond Howard. Put them three Einsteins together and what do you have? That's right, The Three Stooges are back in business, just different names.
Now, back to my issue of being "cold as ice." Last week I was a stellar (cough, cough) 5-5, with 25 pieces of bacon. By the looks of all of the scores in our pick'em group, I wasn't the only one that was caught in that blizzard of cold, from last week. For the year, I'm 57-23 (that equates to just a little bit better than seven out of every ten picks as winners), with 327 total points, good for 96.4%. Let's see if I can stoke the fire and crank up the heat on these selections for this week's slate of games.
Penn State @ Ohio State (10) - Since I have lost my last two "10" point selections in a row, I can just feel some of you putting the Nittany Lions as your "one" point to beat the Buckeyes. It could happen; but, just remember this; the last time that Penn State played on the road, they were taking to the wood shed by Indiana. That's all the proof that I need. Hand me some Buckeyes to clown stomp Penn State, 38-20.
UCLA @ Oregon (9) - UCLA is on the road again, going a little further north than last week. Now they travel to Eugene to take on some ticked off Ducks. In case some of you have been in a drunken stuper for more than a week, Florida State jumped Oregon in the BCS (more like BS) standings. That doesn't bode well for Jim Mora and his Bruins. Put me on the Quack Wagon. I like the Ducks to fly away from UCLA, 48-23.
Clemson (8) @ Maryland - Clemson's coach, Dabo Sweeny said that his team didn't give their best effort in that beat down by Florida State. To him I say: No crap (I would like to use another four letter word), Sherlock. The only thing that Clemson did last week was pull a Clemson. They do this at least once, or twice a season. Look for the Tigers to be a little more motivated this week, say 38-17, over the Turtles, and those butt ugly uniforms that they wear.
Nebraska (7) @ Minnesota - Look, Nebraska is the better team here. The Cornhuskers should steam roll the Gophers, according to stats. Ah, but the game isn't played on paper. Nevertheless, Nebraska can not afford to lose a game like this. If that happens, Bo Pelini will need to have Two Men and a Truck on standby. Look for Nebraska to out last Minneyhaha, 37-24.
South Carolina @ Missouri (6) - This is one of two games that the peckerheads at ESPN have on upset alert, as well as one local writer for the Birmingham News, Charles Hollis; who can't pick his nose. So give me a heavy dose of Tiger stew; or, rather Chicken Soup For The Soul. Taking Mizzu over the Yardbirds, 31-23.
Michigan State (5) @ Illinois - Between these two teams, I've probably watched both of them for a combined five minutes, this season. Going on stats only for this pick. Look for Sparty to capture a few Indians, 28-17.
Texas (4) @ TCU - I bet Gary Patterson is longing for the good old days when his Horned Frogs were the front runners of the Mountain West Conference. TCU is becoming an after thought as far as the Big 12 minus 2, is concerned. Meanwhile, Mack Brown has Texas at the top of the Big 12 standings; if anybody can believe that situation. Plus, as an added bonus, Texas has had a week off to prepare for this contest. The Longhorns win the Dallas Metro Area daily double, by defeating the toad frogs, 27-23.
Texas Tech (3) @ Oklahoma - Stoops may burn me, AGAIN; however, it will not be as bad as that train wreck that occurred two weeks ago in Dallas. This time I'm picking against him. By the way, Stooper Duck hasn't been flapping those gums of his since that beat down from two weeks ago. Losing a game like that tends to leave one speechless. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that Texas Tech is the real deal; I just like them a little bit more than I like Bobby's Boomer Sooners. Red Raiders over Oklahoma, 28-24.
Stanford @ Oregon State (2) - Okay, I'm drinking the kool-aid here; and, I tossed in a little extra Jack Daniel's, just to get the taste right. I can't come up with another excuse as to why I'm on the Beaver Express, for this contest. Let's face it, Stanford is the better team, right? I can't say yes to any degree of certainty; so I'll take Oregon State over the Cardinal, 31-27.
Northwestern @ Iowa (1) - And now, to the "Who Cares" game of the week. Since Game Day came to the shores of Lake Michigan, Northwestern has gone 0-3. The Wildcats ship has managed to sink faster than the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. On the other hand, Iowa has at least won a B1G conference game, which is ONE more than Northwestern has to its credit. Hawkeyes over Northwestern for one point; and, by one point, 24-23.
Hopefully, that puts the wraps on a successful pick'em weekend. Probably not, so you better tread at your own risk. I'm just hoping to turn my ship in the opposite direction from these past two weeks. If not, I'll be the one going down, right alongside with the Edmund Fitzgerald. Until we meet again, everyone have a great and safe weekend. Enjoy the games and Roll Tide.
Jljmbaker
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