Before I unveil this new attempt at creating a modern art masterpiece, it's time to reflect back on the week that was. First, the Ugly. How far has Florida's football program sunk into the abyss? With that loss to FCS, Georgia Southern, I think the Gator wagon has reached the ocean floor. Florida got beat by a team that didn't even complete a pass. I think that Jeremy Foley better revise that 1000% support that he came out for Will Muschamp, two weeks ago. If you sent Ron Zook packing (and he had much better numbers), Mus "chump's" (because he sure as hell isn't a "champ"), lifeline has to be cut. Think about it, his team has lost six straight (well, make that seven after FSU romps through the Swamp on Saturday); they aren't going to a bowl game for the first time since 1990; also, this is the worst season since 1979. If he survives this, he truly has more lives than your average kitty kat.
Second, the Ugly, part II. I'm sure most of you watched the Rice/UAB game, last Thursday (yeah right). The attendance for that game was an astounding 5800. True the attendance was down right pitiful; however, the truly ugly part was that the ushers at the game encouraged what little of a crowd there was, to move to the other side of the field to make it look like there were more people in attendance than were actually there (that was the side the TV cameras were showing). On a side note, UAB is next to last in attendance in D-1 football. Eastern Michigan has the worst attendance draw.
Third, the bad. This has to go to Michigan's inept offense. After watching Brady Hoke, with his arms folded, watching his team lose to Iowa, last Saturday, one has to believe that the Wolverine supporters are calling for Hoke to slide right on out through the in door, never to be seen again, at least on Michigan's campus. How about this stat; Michigan only had 158 yards of total offense against Iowa. If Hoke isn't cut loose, I'll bet that his offense play caller, and probably the DC as well, will be sent packing.
Fourth, the bad, part II. The Big-12, has once again managed to play its way out of the BCS Championship game for the third season in a row. Two years ago, Oklahoma State went to play Iowa State and lost. Last year, unbeaten Kansas State went into Waco, and lost to Baylor. And, this past Saturday, unbeaten Baylor went into Stillwater, and lost to Oklahoma State. All of the losses happened on either the third or fourth weekend in November. The Big-12 could do itself a favor and schedule some of these high profile games for the latter part of September, instead of the current trend.
And finally, the good. Regardless of what happens to Duke on Saturday, David Cutcliffe has done an outstanding job, this season. He gets my vote for Coach of the year honors. Duke has won nine games for the first time since the beginning of World War II. If I'm correct, another Duke win will be the most ever in program history.
And now, the moment of truth has arrived. Last week, I was 6-4, with 35 points; another crappy week. If I've learned one thing this season, it's this; I can't pick Pac-12 games worth a flip. For the season, I'm 91-39, which is exactly 70 percent; with 527 points, good for 96.3%. Well, there's no time like the present. Time to get this party started; or, rather this laugh-a-thon. Enjoy.
Florida State (10) @ Florida - Thanks to ESPN, Santa has arrived earlier this year. The bearded one comes bearing 10 points for all that choose correctly. So make sure that you check the Florida State box and drag it all the way to the top. I can't give you any better directions than that. And no, I didn't need a Garvin Navigator to find my way to the top; nor do you need one either. At this point, the only thing that is uncertain is the outcome; so I'll take the Seminoles over the Gators, 45-12.
Ohio State (9) @ Michigan - Thanks, again ESPN. Santa is giving us more than one present, this week. Same rule applies here as above; just make sure that you check the Ohio State box and drag up under the FSU/Florida game. Now, you have 19 points, and you are on your way to a great week. The Buckeyes over the Wolverines, 39-17.
Notre Dame @ Stanford (8) - Thank goodness that Notre Dame is out of the picture for any BS bowl, I mean BCS bowl. On the other hand, Stanford can't afford a loss and make it to a BCS bowl. Then again, with that stupid rule that states that the Rose bowl will take the champion of the Pac-12 and the champion of the B1G, when the Rose Bowl is also hosting the National Championship game, and boom, Stanford can still go, even with a loss to the stinking Irish; provided the Cardinal beats Arizona State in the Pac-12 Championship game, next weekend. With that in mind, I still like Stanford, "Comfortably Numb," over Notre Damn Lucky, 33-21.
Baylor (7) @ TCU - Time for the Bears to come out of hibernation and eat some Horned frog stew; yuck. Baylor still has everything to play for, with the exception of the big dance. TCU has nothing to play for; except respectability. So give me everything over respectability. Baylor over TCU, 38-24.
Texas A&M @ Missouri (6) - At least there is one team that Johnny Football can't beat, LSU. From one set of Tigers to another set of Tigers, LSU just laid the ground work on how to stop Johnny Football. Now, the only thing that remains to be seen, was Missouri paying any attention. You better believe it. Johnny Manziel wins the Trifecta when his Aggies lose to a team with a Tiger for a mascot, for the third time this season (they also lost to Auburn). Missouri over A&M, 34-24.
Alabama (5) @ Auburn - For Auburn to win this game, they will need to have a few bounces go their way. So far this season, they have had all of the bounces go their way with the exception of the LSU game. After Saturday, you can add Alabama to the exception list. Since the second game of the season, for Alabama; they have given up only five touchdowns in nine games; with two of those occurring in the LSU game. With that stat in mind, I'm picking the Tide over the Tigers, 31-20.
UCLA @ USC (4) - Okay, I'm on USC; but, that doesn't mean that I'm drinking the kool-aid. By process of elimination, USC wins by default. That's because Brett Hundley is one HUGE liability. This goober just can't resist the temptation of throwing the football into double and triple coverage. I even stated last week that he was the lone factor of UCLA's chances of winning against ASU, and he didn't disappoint, throwing that pick-six. Trojans over the little bears, 28-24.
Clemson @ South Carolina (3) - Conner Shaw has never lost a home game. Dabo has never won in Columbia. Look for both of those trends to continue, come Saturday. South Carolina has won four straight in this series. The yard birds continue to crow, deep into the night, proving that chickens can become nocturnal; Roosters spur out a victory over the Tigers, 30-28. By the way, why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.
Georgia @ Georgia Tech (2) - Mark Richt has only lost once to Tech. Tech's coach (Paul Johnson) has never beaten Georgia. The only reason that I am picking Tech is because of the loss of Aaron Murray (Georgia's QB). The Yellow Jackets find a way to sting the Dawgs, 24-21.
Duke @ North Carolina (1) - Traditionally, this spot has been reserved for the "Who Cares" game of the week; however, ESPN managed to deliver a complete slate of meaningful games, for this week. Remember, I was praising David Cutcliffe, earlier. Nevertheless, the Tar Heels would like nothing better than to derail Duke's shot at an ACC title; and, as an added bonus, they have the home field advantage. Tar Heels sink the Blue Devils ship so that they can concentrate fully on basketball season, 31-24.
Well, that puts the wraps on this early edition of laughter. Have fun with it. Just remember, tread at your own risk, or you will end up like me, dazed and confused. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone; and, be safe if you are traveling, it could be messy, depending on where you are headed. Enjoy the games. Until we meet again, ROLL TIDE.
Jljmbaker
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